Keeping your focus and saying no to self sabotage

Making a plan to make a big change in our lives is exciting. Like anything shiny and new we have great enthusiasm at the beginning of our plans, and have every intention of staying on track-keen to make progress and enjoy the changes that we plan to make.

So why so often do we end up in a cycle of self-sabotage? Just as we seem to get going and make progress, we forget all about it and revert to old habits. And then we feel disappointed, disenchanted, lose all our enthusiasm and give up.

It’s so easy to blame ourselves, beat ourselves up about it and then just decide we are not good enough, not allowed to have a better life and that success (in whatever form it takes) is only for other people and that for some reason we don’t deserve it and are not worth it.

Well BREAKING NEWS!!! WE are ALL worth it!

We also owe it to ourselves, our families and our communities to put ourselves at the top of our list of priorities and take responsibility for our behaviour. If we are happy, taking care of ourselves and making progress it’s good for everyone.

However, breaking the cycle of self sabotage is not easy, and it happens for lots of reasons. One of the main reasons is setting goals that are simply not SMAART and the other is a failure to really focus on the actual result that reaching our goal will bring us as opposed to rushing full throttle ahead without really considering the outcome.


When we make a decision to make a change we must make sure but is SMAART (Specific, Meaningful, Achievable, Ambitious, Relevant, Time limited). If your goal is too broad, too vague, doesn’t make you invest emotionally and is unlikely to ever come to fruition then chances are you will be actually sabotaging before you even begin! I have gone through this exact process myself and set myself goals that were so out of my reach I almost KNEW I wouldn’t achieve them and therefore could justify giving up before I had even started.

Think about the why not just the what…

If we manage to get past the initial part of our goal setting journey then that’s when another bit of self sabotage can kick in. When we have ideas for goals we want to reach and we start to work towards them, we rarely focus on the actual net result that the goals will give us. We fail to see HOW this will change our life or WHY we are really doing it. We don’t take time to visualise what our success will really bring us-we just focus on the shiny prize instead of looking at the glow that it will being to our lives. The ripple, glow or after effect of reaching that goal can be immense and affect our lives in lots of different ways. However, we don’t really think about that-instead we get fixated with the thing we are aiming for.

This could be losing a certain amount of weight, dropping a dress size, getting a new job, being happier in our relationships, returning to education, starting a business or anything else.

Unless we start to really think about the actual EFFECT that the goal will have on our lives, we won’t be motivated to keep on working towards it because we will fail to see the point of it all. The goal will just end up being another thing to tick off our list-but it should be something that has the potential to make a massive, positive impact.

So to make sure I do set SMAART goals, avoid self sabotage and reach those goals, I have created a bullet proof method to help me and you can start doing the same thing right now. In fact if you do, then you will be in great company as almost 1,000 people have used the method and found it very useful.

Eight steps to success

My eight step LIFE EDIT programme uses tried and trusted life coaching practices combined with a daily journaling or writing routine-and gets results fast by keeping you fully focussed on the changes you want to make and the effect those changes will give you, while you stay fully motivated to keep making progress.

Each of the eight steps is part of the process you go through to reach your goal and achieve the transformation that you want to create.

For each stage there are specific journaling and writing exercises that you can do to help you with:

L etting go of self limiting beliefs

I nspirational ideas for change

F ear, Focus and the Future

E dit and Evaluate

E mbrace Empowerment

D efine, Decide, Delete!

I ntegrity and Intention

T ime to Transform

To make a start on your own LIFE EDIT, try these quick start tips:

  1. Spend just ten minutes each day writing in your journal about how you would really like your life to be and what it is like right now. What needs to change? How will your life be if you DO make the changes and what will it be like if you DON’T?
  2. Choose one or two areas of your life such as health and wellbeing or career/work and really look in detail at what is going on-be really honest about what is working and what isn’t and write it all down. Try to figure out what you can do to make changes.
  3. Start to really visualise your new life in great detail-write about how you will feel, why you want to reach this new goal and what the effect will be. Write down the next two steps you need to take to make progress towards your goal.

Invest in a good quality journal and make a pledge to really start a regular journaling practice. Within seven days you will start to see a big difference in how you approach your goal setting because you will be taking time each day to focus on the WHY part of your goal and what it will bring to your life.

For my top tips on starting a journaling routine and to take part in my 21 day LIFE EDIT programme just contact me here and I will send you all the details you need to get started.

To pre-order my book click here