Life is basically a series of events and choices isn’t it? Some stuff you can control, most of it you can’t and sometimes things happen without us even realising it! We are all facing something all the time-whatever age or stage we are at and some of us appear to handle things really well while the rest of us just busk it and hope for the best!
I use to be in the ‘busk it’ category and although I did get away with it for a while there came a point when I knew I needed some sort of plan or system rather than just hoping for the best and being in denial about the reality of a situation.
For me, at the ripe old age of 51, I think the biggest thing I am currently dealing with is probably the menopause-oh and a bit of empty nest syndrome too. They kind of go hand in hand for lots of women I talk to and there in lies the problem.
Lots of women I am coaching at the moment are telling me they feel a bit invisible, not really needed and a bit rubbish. Mid life is one of those flash points (see what I did there!) when we should be directing our energy into something positive and fulfilling but instead we seem to come to a bit of a standstill and start questioning everything.
Maybe you are feeling the same? Perhaps you are at a crossroads and stuck because you just can’t see the wood for the trees and although you WANT to make changes you are uncertain of where to go next, OR you feel you are slowly but surely fading into the background and losing your voice, your confidence and your credibility?
The reality is that women in their middle years have even MORE to offer than we often realise because by the time we hit this era, we have usually experienced one or more major life events. Things like:
Returning to work after having a baby
Health and wellbeing challenges
Empty nest syndrome
Becoming a step mum
It will come as no surprise to any of you that I have been through ALL of these and (by some miracle!) I am still here to tell the tale! I am not a professional expert in any of the subjects above BUT what I do have is loads of direct life and lived experience AND a bullet proof way to navigate through all of it, survive it, thrive on it and come out the other side with a life designed and created by ME for ME the way I want to live it. I had to come up with a way to deal with all my thoughts, feelings, ideas, pain points and plans that resonated with me and it all came down to daily journaling and writing because that’s what I know works.
And now almost 1000 people from across the world have also tried this method to navigate their way through life’s various challenges and the results have been pretty impressive.
It hasn’t always be easy-there have been awkward questions, pressure, tears-but it has worked.
They all realised that it was time to stop feeling invisible, ignored, frustrated, scared, and hopeless. They got out from under the duvet, put their big girl pants on, ditched the Netflix binge and made a conscious decision to live their best life.
And they did this by adopting a daily writing or journaling habit and by realising that there is no need to become a prisoner of our past-life shows us lessons not life sentences. Instead they are now writing sentences that really matter and will make a profound difference.
So what’s it all about then?
It is well documented that keeping a journal, diary or taking part in regular creative writing sessions can all help us to unravel our thoughts, give us clarity and help us to achieve short, medium and long-term goals that lead to positive changes in our lives. And yet only three per cent of us actually make time to WRITE down our goals-those of us who do write them down achieve great things and make profound and significant changes to our lives.
All of us have a ‘story’ that we tell ourselves about who we are and what our lives are like. We can convince ourselves of almost anything and we can use our story to influence every part of our lives. So often, although we get genuinely initially excited by the prospect of change and the idea we can ‘have it all’ we still have long held beliefs that success is for other people and we are somehow NOT worth it.
Well as far as I am concerned, I can see no reason why we can’t all live life at full speed and be happy BUT I do know that YOU have to do the work to get there. You cannot live by someone else’s rules-you have to do this yourself and I know that isn’t always easy. We all have people and situations in our lives that will do their best to stop us-but we need to start being accountable to ourselves and get the support we need to move forward.
Our self-belief system needs to be robust and we have to believe that we can make changes and we are worth it. Our minds are very good at telling us stories about things we can’t do or have in our lives but by shifting or editing our inner story and changing our way of thinking we can create a new narrative and a new story. We don’t have to let our old story dictate the next chapters of our lives, instead we can create a new one that acknowledges past challenges or mistakes, actively allows us to forgive ourselves for anything that is holding us back, edits out any self-limiting beliefs and allows us to make positive change by curating new ideas, plans and goals for the future.
After all-WHAT makes you think you cannot make changes and live the life that you want to? Have you actually TRIED to make any changes before? What have you REALLY tried so far?
Habits can be changed but we need to be brave. Settling for second best can easily and quickly become a habit but we can make new habits that support change in our lives-you are allowed to live a happy life! By drawing on our inner resilience, compassion and gratitude we can ALL nurture our ideas and write our new stories.
You can make a start right now by enrolling in our FREE course. Yes I know you are busy- we all are-but don’t you deserve the chance to at least try and make some changes?
I think you do!
Let me know how you get on and if I can be of any help.