A lot of my clients are women. Not all, but many are. This doesn’t mean I don’t like coaching men, because I do, it just seems that more women contact me than men. Simple!
One of the things that I find time and time again is the reluctance for the women I work with to put themselves first and value themselves highly. I ask them in the first session to promise me they will put themselves first on their list of priorities and values and many look at me as if I am mad. They roll their eyes, they look to the heavens and I know what they are thinking. (Some even laugh at me…)
I get this. I really do.
But, I am not asking anyone to be selfish, a diva, a showoff, a nasty, uncaring person and I am not asking them to ignore their responsibilities or stop loving or caring for people. I am simply asking them to look after themselves better.
For many of the women I work with, this is an alien concept and not a request that necessarily goes down well. The reality is that if we don’t practice effective and authentic self care we are not really going to be working at our optimum level and therefore have the potential to not be much use to those around us anyway.
When I explain my request in those terms, it is like watching a series of lightbulbs gradually flicker on-particularly in a group workshop when they all look at each other as if to say, ‘yeah…ok..maybe she’s not mad after all.’
Then they stop laughing and start smiling.
So the process begins to help people get over those barriers and encourage them to think highly of themselves so that they can work towards becoming the best possible version of themselves as quickly as possible. Because it doesn’t matter how much I believe they can make big changes, THEY have to believe it too.
We have all been guilty of neglecting ourselves, thinking there are other priorities that are more important and convincing ourselves that we are not special enough to have time to ourselves, or indulge in a treat every now and then. Mostly we feel like this because of our limited self belief systems. Limited because we have chosen to believe what other people have told us about ourselves and those beliefs have gradually become our reality.
Small steps can make a big difference to how we feel about ourselves and how we believe we should be treated. Simple actions such as taking some time to read a book for a few minutes a day can have a big impact.
Just being quiet and still can be a great way to gather our thoughts and be calm and in the moment. How many of us have been given lovely sets of beauty or bath products as presents and never opened them? They sit there in the bathroom gathering dust because we are saving them for a special occasion. We have clothes that we are saving, we have ideas to do things that we will get round to one day. Well now is the time! Crack open the bubble bath, read the book that has been gathering dust and put your best knickers on my friends because life is short!
I love a beauty product as much as the next person, and I used to buy them, get given them and basically hoard them away-ridiculous behaviour!
No longer! My current favourite is this lovely stuff from Tropic Skincare. I am definitely not saving it for a special occasion and my skin has never looked better!
You can order some for yourself from the lovely Michelle French because YES you ARE worth it.